How to discipline kids without yelling
February 1, 2016  |  Written by Carlota Nelson

It´s difficult, we know. In fact, being a parent is probably one of the hardest jobs in the world. But, you aren´t alone. At The To Blog, our mission is to help. We understand that there are days in which it is virtually impossibly to keep calm, be patient and not get become irate at the fact that you need to repeat everything a million times. It is then, at these precise moments, when we feel overwhelmed, that we tend to raise our voice or yell. But, as you have probably already discovered, it leads to nowhere. Today, we will give you some clues as to how to discipline without yelling.

Just like we suggested in this post, there are way to avoid getting uptight, stressed out and simply losing it. When we feel overwhelmed, we must be very careful not to say or do things that will later become difficult to manage. And yelling is one of them. Remember, we are the mirrors in which our children look into. And aside from the fact that raising our voice does nothing positive, they´ll probably do the same thing next time they feel nervous, impatient or overwhelmed.


Clues as to how to discipline without yelling

Take a step back

The first thing we suggest you do is take a step back and look at yourself. If you are tired or simply cannot take it anymore, the only thing you should feel guilty about is not having taken the time to disconnect. Remember that everyone including yourself, needs to regain their strength and energy. Even if its just for half an hour, make sure to take some time off to relax or engage in rewarding activities. We suggest you read this article, published here at The Toy Blog to discover how to become patient with your kids.


Inhale. Exhale. Sometimes, it´s the only thing we need. Just a quiet moment to ourselves. Make sure to close your eyes and try not to think. If you don´t, you´re bound to end up angry or frustrated and lose authority. Far from thinking that yelling will help, think again.

The team at Positive Parenting Connection, actually encourage parents who yell, to follow these suggestions:

Set limits

Although we sometimes fear their reaction to setting limits, we end up avoiding this important task. When we set limits it actually helps kids know what they can and cannot do and it helps you manage the situation better, without yelling.

Validate their emotions

We cannot control their emotions but we can accept them, feel empathy for them and guide our children. In order to do that, it´s important we validate their emotions so they can express themselves, feel listened to and turn the page. For example, if your son or daughter refuses to set the table, even though you´ve asked them 8 times in a row, because they think its boring, would rather play with their Barriguitas or simply because they like to contradict you, tell them you understand. Setting the table can be boring if they want to see it that way. But it can also be fun. Why don’t you have your dolls help you set the table? They might like helping you out! Often, it takes just this: stepping back, listening and putting yourself in their shoes.


They say yelling awakens a child´s defence mechanism. It´s like that for adults too! While intelligent conversations create cooperation. Certain questions can actually motivate your kids to feel empowered and take on their responsibilities and tasks. For example, instead of asking them if they´ve finished their homework (for the 10th time) try this: What do I need to do before dinner? This type of questions allows them to feel they are the ones in charge and can actually get them to cooperate.

Lower is better

If you really want to get a message across, do it face to face and at their same level. Being up close automatically makes you lower your voice. Despite what we may think, when we raise our voice, kids disconnect and get defensive. So, we encourage you to try it.

What do you think of these clues? Don´t hesitate to send us your thoughts.

Photo Credits: Shutterstock


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